Never underestimate the desperation of a man whose you-know-which isn't doing you-know-what. While impotence treatments have run the gamut from mystical rituals to metal coils to today's little blue pill, probably the worst period in phallic health were those years in the 20th century when a quack doctor offered to transplant goat testicles onto your body, according to Vice.
This goat doctor was John Richard Brinkley, and when he wasn't performing dicey surgeries, he was running an unsuccessful campaign for governor of Kansas. Brinkley was infamous for using booming, populist rhetoric to scam countless men into coming to his hospital and having their genitals mutilated. And no, stapling goat balls onto a human doesn't work, as if you really needed to ask. Sadly, far too many men with manhood anxieties fell for Brinkley's ball-oney, and the Kansas doctor scored millions of dollars.
Luckily, the story didn't end there. The Encyclopedia of Arkansas says Brinkley's cons eventually caught up to him, and in 1941 he was sued into bankruptcy. This legal battle ended Brinkley's career, but it didn't fix the victims who'd suffered from his treatments. And hey, what about the poor goats?
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